Confession, repentance and forgiveness

Genesis 50 offers a great deal of wisdom on the subject of confession, repentance and forgiveness. We do well to ponder its instruction for the good of our soul.
Jacob has just died, been transported to Canaan, and buried. Now Joseph returns with his brothers to Egypt. Foremost on their minds is the question of how Joseph will treat them. Now that their father is gone, will he seek his revenge on them? They couldn't deny what they had done was reprehensible.
So, Joseph's brother make the first move. They use the name of their father, Jacob, in order to secure Joseph's forgiveness. Now the brothers may have only been trying to manipulate their brother. It is hard to judge motives. In fact, in our reading in 1 Cor 4, Paul suggests we don't even know our own motives very well. In the end God will reveal the motives of all men's hearts. Then and then alone will we know the truth. So...it might be best in these situations to take them at "face value" - what they appear to be.
From the surface there is much to commend the brothers' confession and repentance. They call what they did to their brother "evil". It is important to admit our sin, not making excuses, or trying to call it a mistake....a lapse in judgment....or in any way minimizing it. They then ask for forgiveness. How important it is to ask in a straight-forward manner for forgiveness, always remembering that it may take time for the offended party to come to this place. Finally, the brothers fell down before Joseph and said, "We are your servants". Such an act appears to show a humility that will always accompany a true confession and repentance.
And how did Joseph respond to his brothers? Did he respond well? Again from the surface there is much to commend. Joseph weeps with his brothers and tells them not to fear. That is to say, he had removed all possibilities for revenge. Perhaps that is what he meant when he said, "Am I in the place of God?" According to Paul in Romans 12 revenge is not for men, it is only for God. In fact, so is judgment. How often we want to play God and bring judgment, condemnation and punishment on others. But Joseph realized, I am sure by God's grace, that that was God's domain and not his.
Joseph also did well in identifying sin for what it was. He said, "You meant it for evil". In that he, as well, did not minimize the sin. How important it is, even for the offended, to call sin "sin". When we let others off the hook, saying things like "I know you didn't mean it" or "It's OK, it really was nothing", we hamper the depth of repentance possible for the other person. In the end this is not helpful. Offering forgiveness really brings the most healing in the other person's life.
Now how do we know that one's repentance and even one's forgiveness is true? I believe Joseph gives us one important hint. After speaking to his brothers did you notice what he did? He provided for them and for their children, and he continued to comfort them and speak kindly to them. That's the sign that you have truly forgiven someone, when you begin to take your eyes off your hurt and begin to love the other person and seek their good. It's no different for repentance. John the Baptist declared in Luke 3 that there is fruit of genuine repentance. And when you look at the fruit that he names, it all centers around puttting aside our self-seeking ways, and beginning to empty out ourselves for the good of others.
Readers, this is a very important topic which affects the very health of our soul. To neglect a proper repentance and / or the offering of forgiveness to those who have offended us impedes the healing and reconciliation that our Lord wants to work in us....yes, and in our world! We are, after all, His agents of reconciliation. If you have been allowing a relationship to languish because you have neglected these things, may the Lord grace you today to apply these truths.